I Must Remain Loveless
by Plastic Pinwheel
Summary: Cid Highwind never imagined himself with a young girl stuck to his arm after saving a certain Damsel in Distress at the play Loveless, Cid may be in for way more then he bargined for! And what's worse? Could Cid actually be attracted to this kid!
1. Chapter 1: Confrontations!

...Sakura's Part!...

"Hey! Sakura!"

My director called to me as I sat in front of one of the many mirrors back-stage preparing for my big night. _How does my hair look? Good! Make-up in place? Check! Are we forgetting any jewelry, you know how much the director hates it when you forget at dress rehearsal! Good, in place! Phew! _This was my time to shine, and shine I would! I had trained for 6 months for Loveless. I had to make sure to get all my lines correct, the steps, and improve my vocal range for this big night. It was exciting, but at the same time very nerve-wrecking. People were already expecting so much from me, and I didn't want to them down. Along with all those expectations I had heard negative outbursts mainly due to my age.

I was only 13 years old. I didn't look like I could pass for anything older, and that to many of the critics, especially was not a good thing. I never really understood what the big fuss was about age. Isn't it just nothing but a number?! I snapped out of it. I had heard my director, and turned away from the mirror as I heard the footsteps come in the left-side direction towards me.

"What is it? Sorry, I'm just a little antsy right now. Y'know…I have a lot of people to impress tonight. Heh heh…" I was making excuses for myself. I wish I could quit it. The director looked at me and smiled, leaning over to pat me on my head. Treating me just like a kid. _Sigh…_

"Well then. I hope this won't make you any more nervous then. We have a special guest tonight, it kind of struck me by surprise." With that she pulled out a piece of paper, it was a picture of a man. I didn't recognize who it was exactly. She pushed it towards my direction and I took a hold of it. As I looked down at it I stared at his features. He had short blonde hair, and the most amazingly bright blue eyes I had ever seen. He appeared a bit gruff, and I could totally spot his 5'o'clock shadow…oh, and not to mention. The cigarette dangling in his mouth. Guessing roughly, I'd say he could have been anywhere between Mid 20's to early 30's.

"Who is this man? Is it someone I should know?!" I looked up from the picture finally, and towards her. She was scratching the back of her head, laughing nervously. Finally, she responded.

"Sakura. Don't you ever watch the news or read the paper?"

I just looked at her oddly, what did SHE think? With all the rigorous training I had put up with in the previous months, I hadn't had the chance!

"No…I can't say I have as of late. But please, tell me who he is! I'm curious!" I really was! Why did I need to know?

"That's Cid Highwind. Sakura, he's going to be the first man in space, Jeez! --And tonight! We have him sitting up in the front row, smack in the center to watch the show. ShinRa is givin' him this little gift of seeing the new lead actress before he goes off! Quite the nice thing of them to do, eh? "

I wasn't too happy. …As if I didn't have enough people I needed to impress. Now on top of that, I had the to-be first man ever in space. Regardless, I tried to emit a positive attitude about all of this. What could I do?

"Yeah, that's great! I'll try my best to impress him and everyone else out there! I promise!" I smiled and gave a nod. I set the picture of the man down on my dresser. Looking at it once more, as my director patted me on my back and replied.

"That's what I like to hear. Knock them dead, Sakura. You are on in 5!"

...Cid's Part!...

!#$! This isn't exactly what I had in mind of my final night on the planet before department. I was in line, waiting for my ticket to be taken, because apparently these slowfucks didn't know it wasn't a good thing to keep the captain waiting. I heard this damned play was the talk of Midgar currently because of some new hotshot young actress. I looked up at the sign as I light my final cigarette from the pack I had hidden in my coat pocket. There were posters of the new lead plastered up all around the building. It was strange to see such a young thing like the girl in the picture already throwing herself into such a career. My mind drifted into thoughts I had no idea why I was thinking. Did she ever attend school? What did her parents think? Shit--if I had little brats her age I don't think I'd let them become something like that. Hell, usually when people rise to fame they start thinking their shit doesn't stink.

"Excuse me, are your Mr. Highwind?"

I heard the voice of female calling my last name. Making me jump and my cigarette fall to the ground. Shit shit shit. That was my last one…sigh. I wanted to pick it up and continue smoking it anyways, but I worried about how much of a dumbass I'd look if I did so. Turning my head, I saw the spitting image of the girl I had saw up on the poster. It had to be, it was her…the lead for loveless. I'll admit it to myself, but not out loud. I'm not going to acknowledge it in the open because I'd get arrested most likely. But damn, if she had looked good in the poster she was even more of a cutie in person. Even so, I wasn't going to treat her special.

"Yeah, what's it to you?"

She looked a little surprised. Was she expecting me to jump for glee because I got to see her up close? Looking around quickly I noticed whispers and pointing at her. She, herself appeared to be out of breath…as if she had been scrambling about before rushing to find me. Her small chest was heaving up and down underneath her solid white dress. Before speaking, she tried her best to regain her posture and smiled up at me.

"Ah. Well…I'm Sakura. I'm sure you know that already, though. I apologize you've had to wait so long in line, I doubt that's what you had in mind for your last day here. My director wanted me to come and greet you personally and take you to your seat. It's an honor to meet you, Sir."

Hm. The kid seemed surprisingly nice and polite. A rarity it seemed, nowadays. Although, it did make me feel too much of an old fart when she called me Sir and Mr. I knew the kid was just trying to show some respect. As she finished talking, a waved a hand up in front of my face and grinned.

"An honor? Hm. Do you really even know a thing about me or was that something your director told ya' to say to flatter me, eh?"

I heard her squeak. I was guessing I had hit dead on. She placed her hands over her mouth as she spoke, making her speech sound muffled. Her cheeks glowed a light red as she did.

"I--I'm sorry. To be quite honest, I don't really know anything about you. Just that you are to be the first man in space. I--I don't exactly g-get to read the newspapers much or watch TV with all my stage practices.. I hope you don't think too bad of me."

How nervous was she? Why? Kid's were too easy to see through and tell when they weren't being sincere. But what she had said then, was nothing but.

"Heh. It's alright. You got to do, what you got to do, huh? I mean, #$! At least you appear to listen to your elders. I can't tell you how many brats don't these days….Anyways, care to take me in?"

Was I being too nice? Why did I feel the need to if I was? I couldn't figure it out--and here I was telling myself I wasn't going to be. I felt a hand be placed down against my arm, she had walked over and began taking me past the doors and the ticket checkers without any hassle.

"Sorry if I'm pulling a bit too hard or fast…just I have to be up on stage soon or the show can't start. I'll take you to your seat though, sir."

This girl kept saying sorry, I noticed. It was as if everything she had done in the few minutes we have met had been her fault. Although, it was a bit relaxing not having to worry about myself doing something dumb, I'm sure even if I did she'd claim it to be her fault.

"Don't worry, no reason to. I'm sort of glad you came then, the crowd was getting a little too big for my tastes and I don't so well in em', so thanks kid. Just get me seated and go on your way…don't wantcha' to be late."

Finally, she looked more at ease. A smile slowly played upon her glossed lips as she slipped her frame into the large double doors to entrance of the Auditorium. Her hand was still placed upon my arm as she walked down the steps with me following behind her, carefully trying not to step on the flowing white dress that hit the ground all around her. It appeared she was taking me to the front row, and as she did so I looked around to see many of the seats filling up. It was sold out. Although, that was to be expected for a debut. Luckily for her, it was rather dark and the only light was coming from a dim lighting of lights that went all around the auditorium. We finally came to the front row, and she pointed to the seat in the very middle, cheerfully speaking.

"Here you go! Please relax and I hope you enjoy the show…and Sir?"

I sat down as she had started to speak, looking towards her I blinked.

"Yeah, what is it kiddo?"

She placed her hand against her other arm and nodded off to me. She looked a little embarrassed as she said her final words before turning to rush off. I realized then, a very odd marking on her left cheek…I assumed it was a bruise, but there was heavy makeup applied all over it. It hadn't been distinguishable when she was farther away but up close now, I finally saw it.

"I apologize for not knowing more about the special guest of my debut."

I couldn't get another word in. She had picked up the fabric of her dress and held it up over her knees as she rushed back up the stairs. Sighing, I placed my hand against my head and scratched a bit. What a weird kid…She didn't need to feel so bad. Most children were completely oblivious to everything around them and I didn't really blame her for it. But--why was I worrying? Why was I thinking about her still? Shouldn't I just sit back and relax--and hopefully not fall asleep? Damn…

End Chapter 1

Authors Note: So what do you guys think so far? This is my first Final Fantasy 7 fanfic and Cid Highwind has always been my favorite character. I always wanted to do something like this that showed a gentler side of him, LOL! Any ideas were Sakura got that bruise of hers from? Is Cid going a little too soft n' sweet on the gal? Why do both characters seem to be such worrywarts? All this and more were be identified in the next chapter! THE PLOT WILL TOTALLY THICKEN, I PROMISE! Please don't forget to leave feedback! I love and cherish every ounce of responses I get back!


	2. Chapter 2: Payback is a Bitch!

-1

Chapter 2

This was it. My big moment--my one time to truly shine and impress everyone who had ever doubted me up to this moment. I needed to be flawless. I stood behind the curtains up on stage, I could hear the crowd shouting and laughing but nothing stuck out to me. It was all jumbled together and I didn't have enough time to think and make sense of it. I placed my hand against my left cheek…it still stinged. I had been smacked hard from our main continuing fund giver for LOVELESS a few days ago.

President ShinRa..

Yes, it hurt to even think about it. I remember why and how it happened. I didn't deserve any of it.

You see, President ShinRa had always had a little thing for the previous lead before she retired. Her name was Charon, she even had the beautiful name of someone who was famous. I guess those feelings weren't exactly mutual to say the very least because I recall a very annoyed Charon always trying to hide behind the backup singers in rehearsals whenever he came about to see how she was doing--I was one of them. Hard to think of…someone like me, getting so lucky. I had totally lucked out in the auditions, but I had studied and practiced the part repeatedly til it was drilled into my head. I bet my mother and father in heaven were cheering for me.

"One minute! One minute! Positions everyone!"

I walked to my place and got in position. I'll try to finish this little story of mine in the short time I have left! Anyways, you know how people who have been doin' something for several years get…they don't think anyone can be even half as good as them. I believe I was a bit envied by Charon…even though she was retiring. I was young--and she was well, er..not so young. To put it as nice as possible. President ShinRa came for the final and last time at her Goodbye performance where she had been a mountain of roses at her feet. There she siad her final words, and I was introduced…I was brought on with less excitement then, then I had hoped for.

After the crowd had started to leave, the only person who remained in their seat was President ShinRa. Front row and center. …Just like where I had put Mr. Highwind tonight. I had turned towards him and noticed for once he wasn't keeping his eyes on Charon, he was keeping those eyes of his fixated on me. It was extremely nerve-wrecking and for a moment I didn't feel like I could move. Did he think it was my fault she was retiring? It was of her own free will to do so! Suddenly, he sprang up from his seat and headed up towards the stage stairs, stepping up on each one hard, stomping until he reached the top. He was heading towards me, his face looked extremely harsh…I didn't know what he was going to do. I froze. He didn't stop until he so close to me he was almost touching. Finally he spoke, giving one quick glance to Charon who was behind the curtains now before turning back towards me.

"You know, just because your young doesn't mean I'm going to treat you nicely. I'm not very impressed by what I see and I doubt you'll even be sub par to what Charon has provided the city of Midgar all these years."

G-great. It was more backlash. I was getting sick of it, I didn't know why everything had to do with my age these days. I couldn't help how old I was, it wasn't something I could control. It was frustrating! I felt like I was going to explode. One of my hands clenched into a fist, where did he get off talking so crudely to me? What an ass. I didn't care if he did provide for all of us, he could at least be a little more nice. Jeez. Mr. President.

"Where the hell do you get off telling me such things? You haven't seen me in action yet, I don't think you are one to be talking. LISTEN, just because your favorite decides to retire--which I'm sure half of it is due to the fact she can't stand YOU doesn't mean you be an asshole to me! It's just proof you can't buy someone with gil!"

There I had done it. SMACK! I felt his hand hit quickly against my face, for a moment I couldn't even think. I just brought both of my own hands up to my face as I felt the stingy pain against my cheek. He had hit me, hard. I heard him laugh as I tried not to cry.

"Watch your mouth, you little bitch. If you think that's all your getting for what you said to me, you got another thing coming to you."

With that he turned away, and headed out towards the auditorium doors. Everyone stared at me in dead silence until he had slipped away and was positively for sure gone. Then--I heard cheers…I felt a little better. But what had he meant by I had another thing coming to me?

………………………………...

Damn it all. My eyes were already slowly shutting and the play hadn't even started yet. As I waited, I could tell it was getting close. I saw the curtains slowly sway back and forth even though they were closed. The curtain men were on each side, no doubt about it.

I needed to stay awake. I wasn't exactly interested in the play itself, I had seen a movie version of it before and read the play back in days of my school hood. To be honest, I didn't see what people raved about…it was a bore. No, I was more interested in the girl…there was something mysterious about her, something I couldn't put my finger on. Was it the overall non-brat like attitude she had? Possibly. But…there was just something that made me entranced by her, I needed to see her again and I wanted to know more about her.

Suddenly the curtains slid open, the dim lights that surrounded the auditorium turned off completely and the focus was completely up on the stage as lighting was directed on one single figure alone. I placed my hand on the arm rest tightly. It was her. But why was I so surprised? Shit. She was the main gal' in this afterall I needed to stop, damnit. What was wrong with me? The crowd had came to a complete silence, and with a quick glance around the room I could tell they were watching her every single move, some most likely, were even wishing for her to screw-up. Fucking asses.

She started to step forward, in that long and elegant dress she wore and began to sing. I hadn't exactly realized it until now, but her voice had been rather high-pitched. Not so much in a shut your goddamned mouth way, just she had seemed extremely perky with each word she spoke. Her voice was defiantly pleasing, and she had hit all the high-notes dead on. From what I could tell, she was defiantly competition in a few departments already. Beautiful porcelain white skin, petite but still curvy, and a pleasing cute fresh face. She had the looks down. --And she was still growing….damn. I wasn't exactly sure how old she was, but she didn't look any older then about 14 or 15 tops. She'd be a bombshell when she was older for sure. I shook my head a bit as the audience started applauding as the first song came to an end. I followed suit. She was trying her best not to look extremely happy during such a serious moment in the play, but looking closely, I saw her beam--just a bit. She was proud, she deserved the right to be.

"Way to go kid, you're doing your best."

I murmured to myself. I couldn't help but smile a bit out of the corner of my mouth. I was happy for her. All of the pressure to do so well must have been hard on the poor little thing. If things kept going as well as they were she'd be the talk of Midgar and then some.

I didn't think anything could go wrong for her…I guess, I thought that too soon. I noticed her turning her face towards the wall and curtain on the left side of the shade, she had started a new number but something was wrong…she looked like she was expecting someone…who wasn't coming. In-between her vocals…there was supposed to be a male vocal. I remember! --It was part of the play--and the movie that I hadn't fallen asleep in! Well…that was because it was at the start. Everything after that…is unclear. But !#$! Still!

The crowd started to whisper to each other, a lot of them knew that something had gone wrong too. But what exactly? Then I heard it…screams from the back of the stage. WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON? Then I saw it…what had caused it. A cat-like figure had entered on the right side corner…

But that wasn't the worse fucking part. The fucking beast had something in its mouth, a man. I got a small glimpse of the wardrobe and recalled it as being the same clothes the man in the movie had worn while singing the song that was supposed to be happening now. No shit he hadn't appeared! The fucking Dark nation had gotten to him first! His whole body was limp, it wasn't a good sign. He looked more like a ragged doll then something that could be alive. It was horrifying, although I had seen dumb-asses get their selves killed before because they lack the ability to protect themselves well enough. This wasn't the place that monsters usually would show up.

It began to shake the guy in its mouth, yeah. He was dead. The cat then threw it out the side of his mouth and the figure flew through the audience. That there, was more then enough to send the whole crowd into a fucking stampede as they began to rush out of their seats and ran their asses right of the doors screaming all the way.

I noticed someone NOT moving though. Of all people, it appeared Sakura was frozen up on stage. --And with the animal looking straight at her, I think I knew who he wanted to make his next prey.

I didn't have my trusty spear with me. Nor did I have any materia equipped to any armor. Shit. But I knew I had to do something…or at least die trying. I wasn't exactly a fan of using my fists or my feet, especially against a monster that had claws and sharp teeth. I got up from my chair and ran up to the front of the stage, grabbing hold of top and pushing myself up quickly onto it, darting past Sakura's frame and in-front of her. I didn't really know what she'd think of me.

"Sorry. Looks like your night isn't going to go as smoothly as you or I had wished for. But--at least I can help you get out of this hellhole. Any idea why a big black sonvabitch like this beast would be around these parts?"

Okay. I wasn't exactly the coolest of guys to save a cute innocent young girl from impending death. But I was trying. Something told me this was going to be a long night, even if we both survived.


	3. Chapter 3, Part 1: Sir's midlife crisis?

-1Chapter 3- Sakura's POV

I never expected anything like this to happen to me! Is this what President ShinRa had meant? I had a sinking feeling in my chest that it was. He wanted to ruin me, no! Even WORSE, Kill me! It was all over…all of it? Wasn't it? My dreams, my career, and my life. It was after me, I knew it. I couldn't move…and even if I did run, it'd just come after me and attack me from behind. If I was going to die, I'd do it facing the foul creature.

I then saw a figure dart past me and in front of me. I instantly recognized it from earlier when I had seen him, and in the picture too.

"M--Mr. Highwind! Y-you are still here!? Get out! Before it gets you too! It's not after you…It wants me! I believe…I made it's owner quite unhappy with some previous actions. I'm so--"

He cut me off before I could finish by speaking. He didn't face me, but I saw him wave his hand back and forth as he spoke.

"You are sorry, right? Cut it out. You don't need to go apologizing to me. But let's save the chit-chat before we become chow. Stay back, missy."

I decided it was best to listen to him, most likely If I wanted to survive. I didn't know a captain of that sort could be a great fighter as well. He had no weapon's on him it seemed and…well for materia on the other hand, I had no clue. I backed away slowly, but that just seemed to upset the big ol' kitty. It growled towards me as I did so, I bit my lip.

"Uh…it doesn't like it. S-sorry. Should I just stay put, Sir?"

He gave a light sigh, what had I done? Was I doing something wrong? I didn't think I had. I tilted my head some, and blinked. Had I upset him? --Why was I worrying so much if I did? I watched as he leashed forward towards the creature, what the heck was he going to do? I watched as he shoved his fist directly into the beast side, barely avoiding the cat lashing out it's paw to tear him to shreds. It howled in pain, but that wasn't enough to kill it. I was worried, more for him then myself. I felt sorry that I had involved someone else in something that was strictly my fault for going off on President ShinRa one unfortunate night. If only I hadn't then none of this would be happening.

I heard several obscenities coming from Mr. Highwind as he continued knocking around the beast. The cat had finally knicked him a few times on his face, pants, and arm of his jacket. The only place that seemed to be bleeding from was the first. Finally, it appeared the thing wasn't moving around much underneath of him. He sighed, and rubbed at his cheek a bit, blood oozing out slowly and onto his hand. I heard him swear again as he looked at it. The creature was knocked out, but not dead. Placing his hand against the floor he stood up, stumbling a bit. I felt the urge to run towards him, and I did so in my high heels which hit the ground hard and echoed throughtout the auditorium. He turned towards me, and groaned.

"I could really use a smoke, right about now."

With that, he looked down at the overgrown kitty. He then lifted his leg and put his shoe over the cats head before lifting up some and then stomping down right into it's forehead. I heard something crack…and then squish. I knew what it was…and it made me sick to my stomach. I wrapped my arms around my waist, trying to withdraw the urge to hurl as I turned away. I wasn't used to seeing death of any sort. Be it human or beast.

"…I d-don't feel so good all of a sudden. B-but I think I'll get over it."

I heard him laugh at my response, after what I had seen I didn't think it would be possible for him to act so lightly so quickly. I heard him place his foot back on the ground and then walk up towards me. What he did next, I wasn't expecting. He placed his hand against my head, making me look up at him, blinking. He smiled down at me, while I still remained in the same position as if I were going to be sick from what I saw.

"Eh? A little too much for you? Heh. Kid, there wasn't really any other way to do it. It was either the Dark Nation got it or you and me. --And before you go saying sorry, don't. I don't want to hear a word of it."

He didn't want me to say sorry!? Why not? He shouldn't of had to do a damned thing for me! If I couldn't say sorry. There was something else I could do, I remember! Mr. Highwind had liked cigarettes and looked so sad when his cigarette had dropped outside! While I was backstage before the show started I had found a unopened pack just laying around. It was prohibited for any of us to smoke, our director thought it disabled us to sing to the best of our abilities. Well--not to mention, some of us were too young to anyways. I decided to ask if they were anybodies and nobody had wanted to claim them in front of the director. While she had stood there giving everyone a long-speech about why cigarettes were a no-no I had tucked them into my chest, hiding them in my dress. I wanted to give him them after the show as an apology for not knowing more about him.

"Sir, listen. If I can't say sorry, please…I want to give you something to makeup for this. It's not much but.."

I began shuffling through the chest area of my dress, while I did so I looked up for a moment to see him looking completely dumbfounded at me. Come to think of it--as I got a glimpse of his face he looked a little red too. Was he not feeling well, or was that just the blood stain?

"Sakura…what are you…doing?"

I pulled out the package of cigarettes and held them out in both of my hands, bowing down to him as I spoke. I began to talk, a bit fast-paced…I was a little embarrassed…it wasn't much to show appreciation.

"I…I wanted to give you this! B-because you had looked so sad when you dropped your cigarette outside. I thought maybe that had been your last one and you didn't have anymore! This was backstage and no one would claim them--and…and…so! I thought…it'd be okay if I give these to you! Please accept it as a token of appreciation! Thank you!

I then felt him place his hands on top of mine, I was still bent over but I lifted my head up to look. He slowly began to bend down to my level as he took the package of cigarettes away from me.

"Well, that's mighty nice of you Sakura. See..you know more about me then you think. You remembered I'm a chain-smoker. Not exactly the most flattering of things to remember, but you remember it nonetheless. Since you're such a nice kid, I'll accept it. Although…it's a bit of cheap padding for were you had it, wasn't it?"

He then took it and began to unwrap the package after those words. ….W-why had he had to say that last sentence? W-was he teasing me? I didn't understand…I began to feel my face burn, and slowly I lifted my hands to my cheeks…oh no, was I feeling sick too now?! He took one of the cigs out and slipped it in-between his lips. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a lighter and began to flick it…I sat there watching. Then I realized he couldn't get the lighter to work properly. That's when his curses began to start again. As for me, I giggled and began searching in my dress again, and pulled out a spare lighter and tossed it to him.

"Oh yeah! This was also on top of the pack, thought to grab it, just in case!"

He caught it, and smiled.

"You are my little lifesaver tonight, kid. You think of everything, don't you?"

I did.

Authors Note: Totally cute, eh? Yeah yeah, I know…and Cid's being a bit of the softie to the max eh? Tell me whatcha think! I love you all lots my readers!


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